4 years

Four years is a long time and yet it seems like yesterday.

 Last Friday (January 30th) marked four years since my moms passing.  This year it was different.  This year it stung a little more with AJ's recent passing.

This year I thought it was going to be a little easier and I felt that I had worked a lot on healing and working through my grief over the last year.  And then I was blindsided.

It was good to be able to take the day off, to make my mom's stew, to sing and dance in my kitchen as I made the stew as we did so many times growing up.  It was good.  And yet it was hard.

I have amazing support.  One of my friends the last two years has dropped off fruit (my favorite) and a card to encourage me.  And this year my co-worker Kim made sure I had Doritos and sour cream (a favorite of my moms).  Both small tokens of kindness and support. And many more texts or messages of those who wanted to make sure that I did not feel alone.

The greatest thing that each of them did is speak truth over me and encourage and call out who I am and how I have not allowed the loss in my life to define me.  Oh how I needed those words.  Sometimes there are days that I feel like I am failing at everything in life and I am so consumed with everything that has happened.

As you listen to the lyrics and advice in the next song (a favorite of my moms) I hope that you enjoy these awesome pictures of my mom that we got over Christmas from my dad's closet.  She never really loved her picture taken as we were growing up but there are few gems from when I was young.

Baby shower when mom was pregnant with me