dreams

This week has been kind of crazy. Two of the 5 nights I was unable to sleep soundly and woke up 4-5times in 7 or 8 hour time period.  It was not that my mind was wondering or that it wouldn't shut off.  Its hard to explain but nevertheless it was unwanted seeing how I now have a sinus cold and all I want to do is go sleep.

Wednesday night I had a dream about my mom.  It was in the house her and Alan lived in for several years throughout elementary school and into middle school out in Peoria.

I was the same age as now and she was exactly like I remember.  It wasn't much or profound but I was gathering my things. My mom walked over to help and make sure I had everything (like I am sure she did so many times growing up when Ashlyn and I would visit).  And of course because it was one of my dreams it didn't make sense as to why I was getting pots and pans to take home out of the shelves below the island like counter that was in the kitchen at the house.

It is hard to put into words the interaction I had with my mom.  It was Sweet. Simple. Tender.  And more than anything one of the favorite kinds of interactions I used to have with my mom. (no, not packing my stuff up to leave).  The tone of the dream when she popped in was one that I associate mornings at my mom's house with.  It would usually be quiet because we would all still be waking up and I would go in the kitchen and be with her if she was making breakfast (and sometimes this would be true of evenings and making dinner but usually we had more energy and were laughing about something). 

We wouldn't be talking about much (or at least the conversations we had were never what I remember) but it was the time together and the calmness and peacefulness of that time. (lets be honest, I had lots of siblings and it was always loud in the house so these times were set apart).

I woke up Thursday morning to my alarm content (tired, yes but content nonetheless). I got up and went to take a shower.  When I showering the mornings it helps wake me up and I think about what I dreamed about and what I will be doing that day.  As I remembered/realized I had dreamed about my mom, I felt happy.  It was nice.  Yes it was sad cause she isn't here but unlike dreams I had soon after her death last year, I did not have to wake up and remind myself that she is gone, I just know that she is.  The dream was a good thing.

I was blessed by that dream in more ways than I can explain.  And I am continually reminded of how much I miss her.