So Many Things...

Tomorrow at this time I will be laughing and enjoying myself fully with my best friend and so many other awesome friends! Oh how I miss colorado! I miss the community and the life that I built there...

Yesterday there was excitement that was building up inside of me! I was sitting at work like a little kid  (and it was still 2days away!).  This was the first time that it hit me! Let me explain that it was followed by a million things, get my last shot for Haiti, church set up, church meeting, church, college group, packing, making pigs in a blanket for work today and then finally today a full day of work.

This full day of work has taken a lot out of me.  The 6 hours of sleep (and knowing tonight I will go no more than that) is making that excitement fade...BUT with just less than an hour left in my work day, I am beginning to get excited! :)

The excitement is pure Joy! It has been a year and a half since I have been to CO.  Outside of Lynda coming in January to visit me (which was cut short by almost 2 full days due to my mom dying) I have not seen the people that were like family to me while I was in CO.  It was the first place that I built my own home. I built my life somewhere. God allowed me to do it in a place that would shape me and mold me for years to come.  I think I have high standards for community but I am okay with that.  If you experience community you never want to just settle for this half-assed stuff (excuse the language but as I was writing this I could come up with a better way of wording it).  Texas is just not home.  It could maybe be home one day but I really do pray that Brian and I will be on our way to start fresh together when he starts school.  I want to go and build a community together!  I have already been praying and dreaming up jobs and things that I desire from that next stop along this road called life. 

With all of this excitement for the weekend there is a little pain that is coming with it...

• Obviously saying goodbye on Sunday (when 3days is not enough) will be hard.
• Irrational fear that something bad will happen (which is NOT from God) because it did in January.
• Helping walk through the process of a mom dying with a few people.  This is hard because tomorrow will be 8 months since my mom died. And 8 months is not long in the sense that I do not know what words of wisdom I can give.  My heart breaks. It really really does.  And I hear the pain, the fears, the doubt and the anger.  And yet all I know is that God is good. God is good all the time. (even when  those words mean nothing to our broken hearts, they are true.)  I also know that sharing my experience and allowing the Lord to use my mom's death will help in the healing process.

I am also very excited that my lovely wonderful beautiful Young Life girls will be coming to Denver (hopefully Abi makes her way into town) for church and lunch together on Sunday! What a sweet taste of how BIG my God is.  That they would know him still and that they would be excited to see me (just a small tool that the Lord chose to use).  Oh how I am so unworthy.

SO here is to the laughter. The smiles. The hugs (and much needed cuddle time with Lynda and Beth :) ha!). The tears. And to many more memories that are to be made this weekend!

p.s. Just 3 weeks from Saturday and I will be in HAITI!