Introducing: MegStitch (Totes and more)

I am excited to say I finally created an Etsy shop!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/MegStitch

Slowly finding the new normal in life and trying to enjoy each day, one might even say "Savor" each day.  (I just bought the kindle version of Shauna Niequist's daily devotional, Savor, last week). Part of that includes finding the motivation to do things that I love and have talked about, so....

Why not make an Etsy shop where I can sell my bags. They are great gifts for all occasions. If you have purchased a tote or wristlet in the past please feel free to share the link with friends and family who may be interested!

 

His Faithfulness

In my last blog post I said the following:

"Only the one, the one who pours grace and love out onto us, is big enough and good enough for even this."

 

I am sure, even more so amongst my family who are dealing with the reality of losing AJ the most, cannot fully grasp my words. How can this be? In the midst of despair, brokenness, and pain. How can he be good and loving?

 

I was working away yesterday afternoon trying to complete something before the weekend and my mind tuned into the following words that were playing in the background on Pandora:

 

"He has paid the highest price
He has proven His great love for us"

("He is faithful" by Jesus Culture)

 

It is in his faithfulness.  My hope lies in his faithfulness. 

The faithfulness that I have been blessed to see and name and even the faithfulness that I am so unaware of and miss out on.

 

Faithfulness does not take away from the brokenness in the world. It is just the hope and grace that we get to live into if we choose. Within the first hour of hearing that AJ was in the hospital and had been shot and they did not think he would make it, I had the following conversation with God:

 

Me: How could you let this happen? [struggling with my understanding of God's Character]

(God gently reminding me...)

Me: It's our free will that caused this. Its our brokenness. I wish you wouldn't have given us free will.
(God gently reminding me...)

Me: But you had to because you love us so...

 

None of which changes the situation or circumstances. And yet I am LOVED. God has already proven himself to me through Jesus dying on the cross. Even if he does not answer my prayers and petitions in the way that I desire.  Even when my 42 year old mom dies. Even when my 16 year old brother dies.  Even when I do not want to face my grief.  Even when it's been two months and we still do not have answers. And even when the brokenness of the world crashes into our lives. 

 

He is faithful.

 

 

Looking for the light in the darkness...

 

 

 

My best friend from college sent this to me about a week ago.  I wanted to share it. 

 I have always liked the image that the darkness cannot overtake the light.  I think it was sometime in college when I first heard the words from Hillsongs, song "From the Inside out" that say:

"Your light will shine when all else fades"

Over the last week, the Lord has been speaking to my broken heart (through lyrics) and the holy spirit interceding when I am at a loss for what to pray.  Which reminded me of Romans 8:26-27:

²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

It has been comforting to sit in this truth.  This is what I held onto in the first few hours of finding out. When I was paralyzed and in shock.

Any who, back to the part about how the Lord has been speaking to my heart and using lyrics to do that and remind me of how to pray.  These lyrics have put how I have been feeling into words.  A task that I have been failing at lately.

When I'm overcome by fear
And I hate everything I know
If this waiting lasts forever
I'm afraid I might let go
(All Sons and Daughters: "Reason to Sing")

and yet,
When I don't understand, I will choose you
When I don't understand I will choose you God
When I don't understand I will choose to love you God
(Bryan and Katie Torwalt's: "I breathe you in, God")

And my hope can be:
One day you will set all things right
(JJ Heller: "Your hands")

Because its not right. (holy smokes, cue tears).  Sometimes it is overwhelmingly freeing to just speak that truth.  That it is not right.  Nothing will ever make this right.  Only the one, the one who pours grace and love out onto us, is big enough and good enough for even this.