Good Things

Good things, from a good God. I know my blogs have been very focused around the Deitrich family, but they are so dear to my heart that I cannot help but spend my time and focus on loving them as well as I can. Over the last month I have worked on two huge orders (2 totes &6 wristlets and the other was 21 totes!) and am thankful I could do this to help them.  More bags to come soon :) I need to get a tune up on my machine!

Back in September (wow does that feel like years ago) I wrote a post about my Pastor4Staff group I was starting at Asbury.  The Lord has used Daring Greatly (the book we have gone through) to speak truth to my heart.  In February I decided to go to counseling (thanks to my small group, pastor4staff group and the book) to work through my brokenness and inability to be vulnerable and deal/heal with my mom's death.  One thing that I have learned over the last few months is grief will come up over and over again until you take the time to lean in and deal with it.  And sometimes it finally comes to the surface when you allow yourself to stop and feel.

We talked and did the "typical" counseling that I expected when I signed up. But God did so much more and placed me with a counselor that was trained in EMDR and Witnessing Prayer. To explain EMDR briefly it is meant to help the brain process through and/or reprocess through traumatic events (big T or little t).  They do this therapy with war vets and people like me :)  And witnessing prayer is another way to help you pray (by listening)  and allowing the Holy Spirit to lead you.  You pray for him to intercede and surrender your thoughts and mind. It was really neat to hear the Lord speak to me through images and reminders of scripture during that time. It is kind of hard to explain but if you want to know more about it, let me know because I plan on incorporating it into my prayer life.  Its just good to hear from God and not always be the one talking. I want to try this with my small group sometime.

Has any of this taken away the sadness that comes with no longer having my mom around? No. But that is okay. It has however helped me work through how I felt and why I might have felt that way.  And my grief is so tied up in God revealing himself to me for the first time, as well as my overall relationship with my mom throughout my life.  I now feel like I can lean in when I need to feel the sadness.  I also have given my mom's death to God. Not that he doesn't already hold everything in his hands, but I was not wanting to give this part of my life to God for fear of losing her even more than I already had.  I know, unrealistic fear. But if I could hold on to the grief then I didn't have to say goodbye completely.  Giving it to God will allow him to heal me (which is something I have known I needed [healing] but I was so unaware of how to let it happen).

I will leave you all with what has been a blessing through what seems to be a very stressful, lacking motivation, and frustrating time at work with motivation and worship while working.  All Sons & daughters is my new favorite band. And letting the healer of all things into all areas of my life has been a breathe of fresh air for my heart.