Again, The Bible transcends languages and cultures. Yes I knew this and believed it but I did not know it for myself. And generally knowing things for yourself is better. So wonderful to see it and realize it amidst my insecurities within the first 24hours of being in Haiti.
Monday was the first day that we did devotionals before breakfast and Wayne told us that throughout the week we would be giving our testimonies. He decided to start with me (since he knew the least about my story). Mind you while he said that I was like okay great I can share my testimony (because remember I was a little nervous about sharing what God was teaching me just the day before). I will remind you that I dont always like to talk in front of big groups of people but I am good at it. I have been sharing about what the Lord has been doing in my life for the last 8 years but for whatever reason I was taking it all in and really felt the need to process everything I was seeing and feeling.
So as I started off on my "2min" testimony I felt rushed and I realized it was the first time since my mom died that I was telling my testimony (in its entirety) to a group of people not just one on one. I got to my mom accepting Christ and changing her life around (when a lump in my throat began to grow). I chocked that down and continued on telling my story through high school and college. And then I had to top the cake with the most recent and still very real thing (even 9 months later...) that I am facing. I bawled. Let's get something straight though, I did not want to be crying but I could not help it. And since my mom died it seems when I start crying I cant stop so I finished up my story talking about God's goodness still in the midst of all of the pain and then also sharing about how I love to serve and am blessed to be on this trip.
I learned that I am not okay yet. Nowhere near okay. I have learned to live with the pain but I dont think I have given it away. And based on this week (Nov 8th) which was my mom's birthday I am still very much a grieving as one does in the first year even though I want to be past this and I want to be strong I know that I am not.
I love to serve and be used. I want to be helpful and throughout the week when I wasn't able to help as much due to heights and heaviness of things it was frustrating that when I could help sometimes I was unable to help.
Alright moving along. I was very content while there. I didn't worry about a thing. This comes from a worrier that needs that is constantly giving things away each day. It was nice to just be. It was a huge change in pace and believe it or not I slept more those 9 days then I usually do at home each night. When I say that I was content I really mean I felt a peace about being there and I enjoyed every moment. On the last day we were there I told you that we went up to the mountains. It was such a dramatic chage from being in the city.
It was quiet.
It was nice and cool (I even got goose bumps).
The view was amazing.
Did I mention that it was quiet.
On our drive up the mountain we had a very close call. There was a car that was passing as he was going down the two way mountain road but he tried to pass too many cars at once and we were coming up and around the corner. It was a last minute save by our fearless driver as he pulled off and onto the only extra side pull off along the mountain. I was sitting close to the cab up on a chair and was looking straight out the truck and although there came a point where I realized that this was not going to be good because the other guy needed to slow down and get back over but wasn't I was calm. I felt peace and I knew we would be okay. Mind you I believe a profanity was said by someone but all others were quiet as they held there breathe waiting to see what would happen. Someone was praying at 2pm on Saturday Oct 29th for us. And God has so much more for us then to die in that truck.
It took a few people a while to really relax and calm down after that but everyone was good to go and luckily Samuel and Hannah were unaware of what was happening so they were not to worked up. On the way down the mountain I just sat again near the front overlooking the cab and was able to just enjoy the beauty and really reflect and pray. It was a good time with the Lord to just praise and thank him. I was so blessed by the week and just completely thankful. I found myself so many times that week counting my blessing (not just having the luxuries of America) but the small things. I am so thankful the Lord gave me time apart to serve and do what makes me feel the most alive.
Something that I am excited about doing is helping sponsor an 8 year old little girl named Dashka so she can go to school. Here is a picture of her if you forgot which one of the cute children she was:
Did I mention that I was super blessed by the team of people that I went down to Haiti with, oh because I am. I got to get to know each of them a little and I am amazed at what the Lord does in our lives and what he can bring us out of.
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